levendis: I don't care what the Occupational Health and Safety Committee...
I don't care what the Occupational Health and Safety Committee says, I look damn fine in this speedo.
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#newandveryinterestingwaystoseverelyannoypeoplewithextralengthyhashtagsinordertotakeuptheentireallotmentofcharactersallowableforatwitterpost
View Articlelevendis: I love it when my foot falls asleep, because then I can finally...
I love it when my foot falls asleep, because then I can finally steal all the money I have in my shoe.
View Articlelevendis: I walked in shouting "Where all the bitches at?" and was welcomed...
I walked in shouting "Where all the bitches at?" and was welcomed with smiles and high-fives. I think I'm going to like this "Kennel Club".
View Articlelevendis: I bet they sometimes ask Ricardo Montalbán and Hervé Villechaize to...
I bet they sometimes ask Ricardo Montalbán and Hervé Villechaize to put on white suits and stand outside Heaven just to mess with people.
View Articlelevendis: The lead singer of Boney M is secretly hoping for another cold war,...
The lead singer of Boney M is secretly hoping for another cold war, so he can once again use his famous catch phrase "Oh, those Russians".
View Articlelevendis: Thought I would broadcast my barbecuing, since I'm not doing much...
Thought I would broadcast my barbecuing, since I'm not doing much else. http://ping.fm/VlL1f
View Articlelevendis: I use "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" solely due to Fabio's early...
I use "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" solely due to Fabio's early '90s endorsement and not at all because of my continued disbelief.
View Articlelevendis: Today I'm "keeping it real". Except for the 45 minutes after lunch...
Today I'm "keeping it real". Except for the 45 minutes after lunch when I'm dressing like a surgeon and giving free breast exams.
View Articlelevendis: Kate Gosselin's got a new TV show. Can't we just skip to the part...
Kate Gosselin's got a new TV show. Can't we just skip to the part in her career where she releases a sex tape and get it over with?
View Articlelevendis: If I could fart colourful balloons at parties instead of invisible,...
If I could fart colourful balloons at parties instead of invisible, nauseating gas, then I bet I could make some serious coin.
View Articlelevendis: Join me on a boring walk home: http://ping.fm/Ael0f
Join me on a boring walk home: http://ping.fm/Ael0f
View Articlelevendis: If the taste of this UFC-endorsed energy drink means anything,...
If the taste of this UFC-endorsed energy drink means anything, these guys subsist entirely on hog sweat and urine.
View Articlelevendis: I'm pretty sure my family motto is a four-letter-word.
I'm pretty sure my family motto is a four-letter-word.
View Articlelevendis: Until tonight, I'd never used a bathroom where pissing on your...
Until tonight, I'd never used a bathroom where pissing on your hands was preferable to using the sink.
View Articlelevendis: I'm sorry, but I'm terribly nearsighted when it comes to looking at...
I'm sorry, but I'm terribly nearsighted when it comes to looking at your rack.
View Articlelevendis: Going to go buy pop at the wholesale club. http://ping.fm/It6qx
Going to go buy pop at the wholesale club. http://ping.fm/It6qx
View Articlelevendis: I'm wondering if CoffeeMeat would be that much worse than...
I'm wondering if CoffeeMeat would be that much worse than CoffeeMate. It really hinges on the type of meat.
View Articlelevendis: I have a feeling that if my grandpa's last name were Carlo instead...
I have a feeling that if my grandpa's last name were Carlo instead of Cristo, my uncle would still be named Monte.
View Articlelevendis: Watching Hunt for Red October. I love Sean Connery's character. You...
Watching Hunt for Red October. I love Sean Connery's character. You can really believe he's a mysoginistic Scotsman.
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